the cbt dive
REAL PEOPLE, REAL STRUGGLES
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thought records from the dive
E1 My father is dishonest and consistently disappointing - Farrah
Millenials are decidedly doing life differently than Boomers and Gen Xers. For Farrah, this means working really hard to disrupt the cycle of intergenerational trauma by seeking accountablity and creating emotional boundaries in her family system. But, she’s a South Asian woman who is also trying to honour her family role to care-take for her father who is unwell. In this episode, Farrah explores a situation that activated an avalanche of sadness and anger toward her father.
E2 Muscles and my fear of being overlooked - Al
Gay men talk quite a bit about body image concerns and pressures to either achieve or maintain a particular physique. This preoccupation is about optimizing the ways they can participate in gay men's spaces, including dating and hookup culture. In this episode, we meet Al who seemingly has the body he's always wanted but we dig a bit deeper into the culture of 'never being enough' that begins with a fear of being overlooked and lands him in a place where he questions his worthiness.
E3 Big ideas and difficulty following through - Zee
Do you (or someone you know) struggle with following through on personal projects? It's really hard to have a brilliant mind and always second-guess yourself. This is the struggle for many adults living with ADHD including this week's guest on The CBT Dive. In this episode, we explore how Zee compares himself to others whose job performance and career trajectories seem linear and straightforward while he worries that his knowledge and lived experience don't measure up. The cycle of ADHD is clear: Zee has great ideas and lots of ambition but struggles in certain domains (time, organization, self-esteem); then, he "drops the ball" and feels like a failure, which reinforces his beliefs about not being good enough without having given his ideas a try.
E4 Fear of flying & processing grief - Celebrity Guest, Zoë Ligon
What is the connection between aerophobia and grieving the loss of a parent with whom you had a complicated relationship? On the surface, these things are seemingly unrelated. However, for my special celebrity guest Zoë Ligon who examines her experiences of panic while flying, we began to understand the panic as a trigger for past trauma and terror about returning to a time of compromised safety. We found some meaning in the airborne space between destinations (a kind of limbo) and began to conceptualize it as a unique site where contradictions can exist. That is, we can process the complex grief of a father who was both abusive and loving.
E5 Trepidations of being a "bottom" on Grindr - Adnan
We're so proud of ourselves for having secured rights and increased representation of queer people in popular media. But there's so much that continues to be problematic within our own communities that needs attention. For gay men, femmephobia and bottom-shaming top the list (no pun intended). In this episode, we explore what is at stake in connection seeking when gay men own their preference for being sexually receptive partners.
E6 The curiosity of other couples when you're a single gay man - Kareem
E7 Applying for a job and hearing my mother's critical voice - Nino
E8 Career planning in my 40s & the grief of time passed - Phil
E9 The time I cursed at myself over a small mistake - Dawn
E10 On being the target of displaced hostility - Lori
E11 I experience intense connection and intense loss - Ash
E12 What it means for a queer woman to close the door on having children - Telsa
E13 Honouring my identity and being experienced as righteous - BrownGuyRealness
E14 Performative activism and the betrayal of a close friend - Andrea
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